5 easy steps for becoming an expert hacker

People everywhere are becoming increasingly afraid of hackers. China, Russia, North Korea, the kid across the street: They can come from anywhere. It’s time to arm yourself with the same expertise. Here’s how to start. 1) Decide what you want to hack. This is the most important step because if you hack something important or high-profile,…

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The Dish Drafts: Unpublished Missives From the Andrew Sullivan Hack

Ever since ur-blogger Andrew Sullivan retired from blogging in February, his fans and admirers (“SullyHeads,” as they’re not known) have wondered, “what’s Andrew Sullivan up to, right now?” and “what does Andrew Sullivan think about what is happening in the news lately?” Proving his doubters wrong, Sullivan has remained quiet since his last post in…

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Desperate Residents of Austin Surrounded by Texas – The New Yorker

Credit Photograph by Jordan Naylor/Getty AUSTIN (The Borowitz Report) – In a deepening humanitarian crisis, residents of the city of Austin report that they are completely surrounded by Texas, a situation that locals are calling “dire.” Austin has traditionally enjoyed freedoms as a semi-autonomous region, hosting film festivals and literary events without the interference of…

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SNL Hilariously Skewers Marvel’s Idea Of “A Girl Superhero Movie”

Spoiler alert: it’s a rom-com! “For Black Widow, falling in love can be hard, but it can also be … INCREDIBLE!” Cardigan-clad Scarlett Johansson, last night’s Saturday Night Live host, is a true hero for participating in this (probably depressingly accurate) sketch. [Via] core-decorated SNL Hilariously Skewers Marvel’s Idea Of “A Girl Superhero Movie”.

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Baltimore Residents Urged To Stay Indoors Until Social Progress Naturally Takes Its Course Over Next Century | The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

BALTIMORE—Calling it an emergency measure designed to ensure public safety and order, Baltimore officials held a press conference Wednesday urging all residents to stay indoors until the natural evolution of social progress takes shape over the next century. “Given the ongoing situation in our city, we ask that everyone remain within their homes for the…

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Cancel Your Son’s Funeral Because ‘Full House’ Is… | ClickHole

Cancel Your Son’s Funeral Because ‘Full House’ Is Officially Coming Back! Whoa! Stop everything, cancel your son’s funeral, and brace yourself for binge-watching, because Full House is officially coming back! Via giphy That’s right, ’90s kids! John Stamos confirmed on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night that Netflix has ordered a reunion special for the show,…

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Terrified Reid Refuses to Finger Mob Assailants — NYMag

More proof that conservatives have uncovered the true story behind his “exercise accident.” Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) maintains implausible story. Photo: Win McNamee/Getty Images In January, Harry Reid, sporting a bandaged eye, told reporters he had suffered an exercise mishap in his home. The cover story was obvious bunk. Conservative blogger John Hinderaker,…

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