Stream of Reading (Prepare to be Forwarded) – An Archive of What I'm Reading
Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am by Hillary Clinton What the fuck is your problem, America?? I’m Hillary goddamn Clinton. I’m a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane network of powerful friends. I’m willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides, all so…
WILKES-BARRE, PA—Oblivious to the intense feelings of arousal coursing through the pre-adolescent’s body, local man Pete Strahl reportedly introduced his children to the film Field Of Dreams Monday evening, not knowing that its male lead, played by Kevin Costner, was sparking his son’s sexual awakening. Source: Blood-Drenched, Berserk CEO Demands More Web Videos
Your Honour, my boy made a mistake. No one is denying that. But it’s important to remember that he was drunk, and that he is normally a very sweet boy who does not murder. My son has no prior criminal record and has never murdered anyone before. He has never even tried to murder anyone….
Thanatos A Vampire Tale Inspired by True Events “Today’s creepy is tomorrow’s necessity.” –Sean Parker. Just a single prick. That’s all Jane Watson needed. But in recent weeks at Stanford, the young students, delicious and full of blood, had been harder and harder to come by. At first, she had no trouble finding a fix….
Barrier Status: ‘none’ On paper, my life seemed great. I had a dream job, a swanky apartment, and a loving girlfriend. But something was off. I couldn’t bear being chained to my desk in a stuffy office any longer. So I decided to quit and travel the world, bringing only my passport, a small backpack,…
Listen guys, I get it. You hate the orange guy with the crazy hair. You love the old guy with the crazy hair. You think Hillary is a woman but she sends too many emails. Wow, you’re soooo political. Good for you. I just don’t like to get into that sort of thing. I’d rather…
/end .figure Previously: A Day in the Life of Dr. Oz “We’ll be there for forty-five minutes, tops,” Derek had said. “I just promised Angela we would come by. I’m sorry. I really am. But I swear it won’t be that bad.” Alix had rolled her eyes at him. “My one night out this whole…
/end .figure For Ted, it was a predictable morning at the local fair trade coffee shop. Co-eds filled the place, desperate for their caffeine fix, using high voices to order Starbucks sizes that weren’t even applicable there. Ted shook his head as yet another pierced the air with her dismay, “So, nothing is pumpkin?” It…
Credit PHOTOGRAPH BY PORTRA IMAGES / GETTY Barrier Status: ‘none’ mansplainer: A man compelled to explain or give an opinion about everything—especially to a woman. He speaks, often condescendingly, even if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about or even if it’s none of his business. Old term: a boor. —the Times. Men, you’re faced…
Credit Photograph by Mark Kauzlarich/Reuters Barrier Status: ‘none’ INDIANAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—In choosing the former Hewlett-Packard C.E.O. Carly Fiorina as his running mate, Senator Ted Cruz hopes to tap into the immense popularity of one of the most beloved public figures in America. Minutes after the news of Cruz’s selection leaked, political insiders called the…