‘This Will Be The End Of Trump’s Campaign,’ Says Increasingly Nervous Man For Seventh Time This Year

SALISBURY, MD—Repeating identical comments he had made in June, July, August, September, and twice in November, increasingly nervous local man Aaron Howe responded to Donald Trump’s call to ban Muslims from entering the U.S. Monday by once again stating this would be the end of the Republican frontrunner’s campaign, sources confirmed. “Well, that’s it—you just…

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Gaming for Millennials

The average Millennial gets up the crack of noon in their parents’ house and spends an hour looking through thousands of shoddy t-shirts printed with The Smiths and Joy Division to attempt to look good for selfie number one. Fumbling through thousands of cat memes they contemplate: which video game shall I play until 3am…

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